Am I the only American here who didn’t order a nice, steaming pile of typically worthless British general opinion on certain national news items concerning our country as of late? Because I listen to the BBC quite a bit at night as well as a few American corporate news outlets, and through doing so, I can deduct the Brits feel they have some right to throw down their opinion. So, Britain, STFU!!!! Take your stupid opinion, roll it into a tight little ball, and shove it up your Limey asses. No one asked you what you think. And, well, wait…….listen….listen….hear that? That’s the sound of no one in America giving a rusty RAT’S ASS what you think, and why should we? Seems you’d be used to that sound by now.
Does the US weigh in on Britain’s inherently classiest social system? Their staggering, institutionalized levels of unemployment? How about the way they have cameras on literally every corner which can look right into the windows of their homes, which can automatically track a person as they walk across an entire CITY, yet they persist in the delusional belief they’re a free country? Do we bash them about how their arbitrarily carving up the Middle East over noontime tea and crumpets has caused that neck of the world to be a volatile, unstable mess since they themselves got tired of it and smugly pulled out only to leave the rest of the world to deal with the (now possibly nuclear) consequences? Do we bash them for the way the US has had to pay for roughly 90% of NATO for the last 50 YEARS so we could do them and the rest of Western Civilization the favor of keeping the Russians out and the Germans down? ..While they sat on their asses and let us do the heavy lifting, as usual? Do we bash them for not taking offensive action on their own against Nazi Germany before we did it for them with our bombers? I mean, really, what did they do to win WW II other than host us when we used their island to stage some actual offensive action from? Again, sit your Union-jacked asses down for some tea while we show you how a war is really fought. Do we bash them for contributing close to nothing to the wars and military actions we have to initiate to secure the western world’s secure supply of oil? They have ZERO oil production, so all that nice oil in Britain is coming from somewhere, isn’t it, folks? They were helping out with a token few soldiers in the Gulf War, but I seem to remember that after they got their asses handed to them in an attack or two, they ran home like the weaklings they are. The US SEALS would mop the floor with the British SAS any day. I didn’t hear anything about the Brits going after and killing Bin Laden. Our American SEAL team 6 did that. Again, we do the heavy lifting, they remain on the sidelines where they belong. The least they could do would be to thank us for the fact German is not their national language to this day. Winning the Battle of Britain, an aerial battle, was one thing, but if Hitler wanted to invade their soaked, dreary rock, no one but the US would have stopped him or kicked him out, and no, wining the battle of Britain wasn’t going to keep the Nazis out, have no illusions about that. In a ground war, Britain would have lost, and miserably. They may have a strong navy, but that doesn’t do you a lot of good on land, guys. Wanna know why Hitler didn’t invade Britain? Because there’s nothing worthwhile there to have or make use of. Not wheat or corn fields, oil, minerals or anything> so why bother? The only thing they have is coal, and something tells me the Nazis must have not been in great need of the stuff. So he was happy to bomb them or launch some V-2 rockets their way, but other than that he was happy to have them sitting on their asses doing nothing while he dismantled a decent chunk of western civilization otherwise known as, well, “every previously free nation in Europe”. .
The Brits are so WEAK that when they go up against anyone or anything armed with modern weapons-and not some primitive culture armed with arrows and spears-they end up making the French look invincible by comparison. Thinking you’re tough because you used rifles to kill a bunch of poorly organized African tribesmen and East Indians 200 years ago is like bragging about beating the snot out of an end-stage lung cancer patient after they’ve finished a marathon session of chemotherapy. Same thing with the Falklands. Hey, even I could squash a bug with my foot. Those islands didn’t belong to them anyhow. That was just that dyke Thatcher trying to show the world how big her dick was. We all know she’s a man. Just because you can walk up to it and put a flag on it doesn’t make it yours, unless of course it’s the moon, like we did. Because they don’t even have a space program. There they go piggybacking on something everyone else has already done for them, in this case that “everyone else” is the European Space Agency, to which I’m not even sure they belong or contribute. That is literally their only involvement in space exploration. Hell, even WE beat their asses and tossed ‘em outta our continent. Considering their appreciable naval and military strength at the time, historians to this day are still wondering how they blew that one, but apparently all it took was a few ragtag, poorly armed and barely-led militia members who didn’t have that tough of a time of doing it. That just goes to show you what happened when they were finally fighting an enemy who knew how to shoot back, something they weren’t accustomed to. They bitched out and ran. They were called redcoats and wore red as the color of their uniforms for practical reasons: so when they were getting their asses handed to them in battle and bleeding out like a bunch of drunken, hemorrhaging crack whores who had been taking it up the ass all night, they wouldn’t be demoralized by being able to see each other getting so readily aerated by American bullets. And yes, that was why they did that. It was no accident that they wore a shade of red which would match that of wet blood. They probably also made sure those uniforms were of an absorbent quality so as to be able to soak up a lot of it.
The only reason they haven’t adopted the Metric system is because of their persistent mistrust-this eternal hissy fit-they have with the French. Same thing with the Euro, which is why they’re on the pound still. Pathetic. Sure we don’t have the metric system here, but that’s because fuck you, that’s why!!! That’s one British thing we still need to get rid of if you asked me.
And what has Britain really done for the world in our modern age anyhow? They’re not known for their art or technology, and especially not their nauseating food. I don’t think I have ever heard the words “British gourmet chef” uttered. Ever. Cars? Have they yet made a car that can make it across a K Mart parking lot without dropping dead from major engine failure? That’s if you can even get one started to begin with. That’s why they drive as many Fords as they do……our cars work. That’s also why you don’t see any of theirs on our roads: theirs don’t. That’s one more thing we’ve had to do for them. They have pulled some decent makes of motorcycles out of their butts though, I’ll give them that much. In terms of art, well, I’ll be fair and give them that guy who cut a cow in half and put it on display in two tanks of formaldehyde which you could walk between, with the caveat that the tank was plagued with leaks which interfered with the work of art being safely displayed. So I guess they can’t even cut a cow in half properly. And as far as who invented rock and roll, it was Elvis, not the Beatles, another thing they piggybacked on which someone else in the world invented. The Beatles were gutless pop music, the legacy of which we’re still suffering today. The Beatles were prepackaged, sterilized, overprduduced. Elvis was such a hellion, such a rebel that US TV forbid him from being shown from the waist down while performing because his gyrating was deemed too sexually explicit. I doubt Ringo ever had that problem. Elvis even blazed the way in death by going out in what is now classic rock star fashion: of an overdose-induced coronary whilst taking what I am sure was a massive, sweet, American dump. Because going out like John Bonham, choking face-up on a mouthful of your own whiskey puke, that’s just doesn’t have any class. Both Elvis and the Beatles could make girls have screaming, eye-rolling, loss-of-consciousness orgasms just from being in their presence. Much like myself. One woman, a Mrs. Ida M. Hanks, now living in Anna, Illinois, is to this day still having an orgasm which started when Elvis brushed up against her shoulder over 40 years ago. She has to be fed through a tube and requires full-time care. But it has been determined by the Nightowl613 Advanced Research Foundation For the Study of Eye-Rolling, Loss-of-Consciousness, Rock Star-Induced Orgasms that women who had both Beatles and Elvis-induced orgasms reported far more pleasure from their American, Elvis-induced orgasms than those of the Beatles. And to think Elvis was only one guy. The Beatles were four. But maybe on a good day the Beatles added up to one guy, but not an American guy by any means…..maybe a government building night janitor from the Canary Islands or the Azores or something.
They also take credit for inventing the internet. Only they didn’t. Again, correction is needed here. They invented some of the technology, but we had the brains to make use of it…… in the context of implementing a vast interconnected system of computers. It was a communications-backup project of the US military, not the British military. The companies like Amazon that were responsible for the rise of the net-as well as many of the best commercial porn sites-are ours, not theirs. You just can’t drive the commercial funding of an enterprise like that by selling tea. Speaking of tea, I seem to remember something about a few Americans dumping a quantity of the stuff into, of all places, Boston Harbor. And no, Al Gore never said he invented the Internet. There isn’t one single quote of him saying anything like that. Amazon, Facebook, Google, Youtube, Flickr, Gmail, AOL, Altavista, Yahoo…….all American companies or sites. Name me one major British company on the net that matters. One. All I’m asking is one….single….company. (hears the calm chirping of crickets). And let me ask the class, what nationality is that little startup known as Microsoft? Maybe you’ve heard of those chaps?
So the Brits can just sit their asses back down at the kiddie table of western civilization as the adults who do the real work conduct our affairs, do the usual heavy lifting, make the real sacrifices and not just sit there taking undue credit for them. I couldn’t hear the rest of us talking over the deafening roar of their tooth decay anyhow. We’re Michael Corleone, they’re Vito. And we all know what Mike had done to Vito, don’t we?
This could go on for a long time since I have tons of material to work with, but lemmee toss this one last bit of finely ground salt on to the lash wounds: Do you know that the best selling record of all time in Australia is the US Marine Corps Anthem? That’s because we kept their asses from being invaded by Japan in WW II, which was apparently something they were pretty concerned about at the time. So they can thank us for saving their Australia too. But they gave us Mad Max and Road Warrior, so it’s all good. But imagine you’re any kind of UK soldier who was supposed to be defending Australia in some way…………man that must have been such a swift kick in the ass to have some other country’s Marine Corps Anthem selling like that….always playing on the radio, your kids playing it nonstop on their folding portable record player, the kind with the speaker built into the lid, so you go to a bar to get away from it all, get a drink and contemplate suicide and even there it’s blaring on the jukebox for hours. Blimey!
Does the US weigh in on Britain’s inherently classiest social system? Their staggering, institutionalized levels of unemployment? How about the way they have cameras on literally every corner which can look right into the windows of their homes, which can automatically track a person as they walk across an entire CITY, yet they persist in the delusional belief they’re a free country? Do we bash them about how their arbitrarily carving up the Middle East over noontime tea and crumpets has caused that neck of the world to be a volatile, unstable mess since they themselves got tired of it and smugly pulled out only to leave the rest of the world to deal with the (now possibly nuclear) consequences? Do we bash them for the way the US has had to pay for roughly 90% of NATO for the last 50 YEARS so we could do them and the rest of Western Civilization the favor of keeping the Russians out and the Germans down? ..While they sat on their asses and let us do the heavy lifting, as usual? Do we bash them for not taking offensive action on their own against Nazi Germany before we did it for them with our bombers? I mean, really, what did they do to win WW II other than host us when we used their island to stage some actual offensive action from? Again, sit your Union-jacked asses down for some tea while we show you how a war is really fought. Do we bash them for contributing close to nothing to the wars and military actions we have to initiate to secure the western world’s secure supply of oil? They have ZERO oil production, so all that nice oil in Britain is coming from somewhere, isn’t it, folks? They were helping out with a token few soldiers in the Gulf War, but I seem to remember that after they got their asses handed to them in an attack or two, they ran home like the weaklings they are. The US SEALS would mop the floor with the British SAS any day. I didn’t hear anything about the Brits going after and killing Bin Laden. Our American SEAL team 6 did that. Again, we do the heavy lifting, they remain on the sidelines where they belong. The least they could do would be to thank us for the fact German is not their national language to this day. Winning the Battle of Britain, an aerial battle, was one thing, but if Hitler wanted to invade their soaked, dreary rock, no one but the US would have stopped him or kicked him out, and no, wining the battle of Britain wasn’t going to keep the Nazis out, have no illusions about that. In a ground war, Britain would have lost, and miserably. They may have a strong navy, but that doesn’t do you a lot of good on land, guys. Wanna know why Hitler didn’t invade Britain? Because there’s nothing worthwhile there to have or make use of. Not wheat or corn fields, oil, minerals or anything> so why bother? The only thing they have is coal, and something tells me the Nazis must have not been in great need of the stuff. So he was happy to bomb them or launch some V-2 rockets their way, but other than that he was happy to have them sitting on their asses doing nothing while he dismantled a decent chunk of western civilization otherwise known as, well, “every previously free nation in Europe”. .
The Brits are so WEAK that when they go up against anyone or anything armed with modern weapons-and not some primitive culture armed with arrows and spears-they end up making the French look invincible by comparison. Thinking you’re tough because you used rifles to kill a bunch of poorly organized African tribesmen and East Indians 200 years ago is like bragging about beating the snot out of an end-stage lung cancer patient after they’ve finished a marathon session of chemotherapy. Same thing with the Falklands. Hey, even I could squash a bug with my foot. Those islands didn’t belong to them anyhow. That was just that dyke Thatcher trying to show the world how big her dick was. We all know she’s a man. Just because you can walk up to it and put a flag on it doesn’t make it yours, unless of course it’s the moon, like we did. Because they don’t even have a space program. There they go piggybacking on something everyone else has already done for them, in this case that “everyone else” is the European Space Agency, to which I’m not even sure they belong or contribute. That is literally their only involvement in space exploration. Hell, even WE beat their asses and tossed ‘em outta our continent. Considering their appreciable naval and military strength at the time, historians to this day are still wondering how they blew that one, but apparently all it took was a few ragtag, poorly armed and barely-led militia members who didn’t have that tough of a time of doing it. That just goes to show you what happened when they were finally fighting an enemy who knew how to shoot back, something they weren’t accustomed to. They bitched out and ran. They were called redcoats and wore red as the color of their uniforms for practical reasons: so when they were getting their asses handed to them in battle and bleeding out like a bunch of drunken, hemorrhaging crack whores who had been taking it up the ass all night, they wouldn’t be demoralized by being able to see each other getting so readily aerated by American bullets. And yes, that was why they did that. It was no accident that they wore a shade of red which would match that of wet blood. They probably also made sure those uniforms were of an absorbent quality so as to be able to soak up a lot of it.
The only reason they haven’t adopted the Metric system is because of their persistent mistrust-this eternal hissy fit-they have with the French. Same thing with the Euro, which is why they’re on the pound still. Pathetic. Sure we don’t have the metric system here, but that’s because fuck you, that’s why!!! That’s one British thing we still need to get rid of if you asked me.
And what has Britain really done for the world in our modern age anyhow? They’re not known for their art or technology, and especially not their nauseating food. I don’t think I have ever heard the words “British gourmet chef” uttered. Ever. Cars? Have they yet made a car that can make it across a K Mart parking lot without dropping dead from major engine failure? That’s if you can even get one started to begin with. That’s why they drive as many Fords as they do……our cars work. That’s also why you don’t see any of theirs on our roads: theirs don’t. That’s one more thing we’ve had to do for them. They have pulled some decent makes of motorcycles out of their butts though, I’ll give them that much. In terms of art, well, I’ll be fair and give them that guy who cut a cow in half and put it on display in two tanks of formaldehyde which you could walk between, with the caveat that the tank was plagued with leaks which interfered with the work of art being safely displayed. So I guess they can’t even cut a cow in half properly. And as far as who invented rock and roll, it was Elvis, not the Beatles, another thing they piggybacked on which someone else in the world invented. The Beatles were gutless pop music, the legacy of which we’re still suffering today. The Beatles were prepackaged, sterilized, overprduduced. Elvis was such a hellion, such a rebel that US TV forbid him from being shown from the waist down while performing because his gyrating was deemed too sexually explicit. I doubt Ringo ever had that problem. Elvis even blazed the way in death by going out in what is now classic rock star fashion: of an overdose-induced coronary whilst taking what I am sure was a massive, sweet, American dump. Because going out like John Bonham, choking face-up on a mouthful of your own whiskey puke, that’s just doesn’t have any class. Both Elvis and the Beatles could make girls have screaming, eye-rolling, loss-of-consciousness orgasms just from being in their presence. Much like myself. One woman, a Mrs. Ida M. Hanks, now living in Anna, Illinois, is to this day still having an orgasm which started when Elvis brushed up against her shoulder over 40 years ago. She has to be fed through a tube and requires full-time care. But it has been determined by the Nightowl613 Advanced Research Foundation For the Study of Eye-Rolling, Loss-of-Consciousness, Rock Star-Induced Orgasms that women who had both Beatles and Elvis-induced orgasms reported far more pleasure from their American, Elvis-induced orgasms than those of the Beatles. And to think Elvis was only one guy. The Beatles were four. But maybe on a good day the Beatles added up to one guy, but not an American guy by any means…..maybe a government building night janitor from the Canary Islands or the Azores or something.
They also take credit for inventing the internet. Only they didn’t. Again, correction is needed here. They invented some of the technology, but we had the brains to make use of it…… in the context of implementing a vast interconnected system of computers. It was a communications-backup project of the US military, not the British military. The companies like Amazon that were responsible for the rise of the net-as well as many of the best commercial porn sites-are ours, not theirs. You just can’t drive the commercial funding of an enterprise like that by selling tea. Speaking of tea, I seem to remember something about a few Americans dumping a quantity of the stuff into, of all places, Boston Harbor. And no, Al Gore never said he invented the Internet. There isn’t one single quote of him saying anything like that. Amazon, Facebook, Google, Youtube, Flickr, Gmail, AOL, Altavista, Yahoo…….all American companies or sites. Name me one major British company on the net that matters. One. All I’m asking is one….single….company. (hears the calm chirping of crickets). And let me ask the class, what nationality is that little startup known as Microsoft? Maybe you’ve heard of those chaps?
So the Brits can just sit their asses back down at the kiddie table of western civilization as the adults who do the real work conduct our affairs, do the usual heavy lifting, make the real sacrifices and not just sit there taking undue credit for them. I couldn’t hear the rest of us talking over the deafening roar of their tooth decay anyhow. We’re Michael Corleone, they’re Vito. And we all know what Mike had done to Vito, don’t we?
This could go on for a long time since I have tons of material to work with, but lemmee toss this one last bit of finely ground salt on to the lash wounds: Do you know that the best selling record of all time in Australia is the US Marine Corps Anthem? That’s because we kept their asses from being invaded by Japan in WW II, which was apparently something they were pretty concerned about at the time. So they can thank us for saving their Australia too. But they gave us Mad Max and Road Warrior, so it’s all good. But imagine you’re any kind of UK soldier who was supposed to be defending Australia in some way…………man that must have been such a swift kick in the ass to have some other country’s Marine Corps Anthem selling like that….always playing on the radio, your kids playing it nonstop on their folding portable record player, the kind with the speaker built into the lid, so you go to a bar to get away from it all, get a drink and contemplate suicide and even there it’s blaring on the jukebox for hours. Blimey!
