Pussy vs. Beer

A beer is always wet.
A pussy needs encouragement.
Advantage: Beer.

A beer tastes horrible served hot.
A pussy tastes better served hot.
Advantage: Pussy.

Having an ice cold beer makes you satisfied.
Having an ice cold pussy makes you Hillary Clinton.
Advantage: Beer.

Beers have commercials making fun of skunky ones.
Pussy does not.
advantage: Tie

If you get a hair in your teeth
consuming pussy, you are not disgusted.
Advantage: Pussy

24 beers come in a box.
A pussy is a box you can come in.
Advantage: Pussy

Too much head makes you mad at the
person giving you a beer.
Advantage: Pussy.

If a beer is brewed with yeast, it is
still edible.
Advantage: Beer.

If you come home smelling like beer,
your wife may get mad. If you come home
smelling like pussy, she will definitely get mad.
Advantage: Beer.

6 beers in a night and you better not
drive. 6 pussies in a night and you
have done all the driving you need.
Advantage: Pussy

Buy too much beer and you will get fat.
Buy too much pussy and you will get poor.
Advantage: Tie

It is socially acceptable to have a beer in the stands at a football game.
You are a legend if you have a pussy in the stands at a football game.
Advantage: Pussy

If a cop smells beer on your breath,
you are going to get a breathalyzer.
If a cop smells pussy on your breath,
you are going to get a high five.
Advantage: Pussy

With beer, bigger is better.
Advantage: beer.

Wearing a condom does not make a beer
any less enjoyable.
Advantage: beer.

Pussy can make you see God. Beer can
make you see the porcelain god.
Advantage: Pussy

If you think all day about the next pussy
you will have, you are normal.
If you think all day about your next beer,
you are an alcoholic.
Advantage: Pussy

Peeling labels off of beers is fun.
Peeling panties off of pussy is more fun.
Advantage: Pussy.

If you try to snag a beer at work,
you get fired. If you try to snag a pussy
at work, you get hit with sexual harassment.
Advantage: Tie

If you suddenly drop a beer, it may
break. If you suddenly drop a pussy,
it may hunt you down like the dog you are.
Advantage: Beer.

If you change to another beer, your
old brand will gladly have you back.
Advantage: Beer.

The best pussy you have ever had is
not gone once you have enjoyed it.
Advantage: Pussy.

The worst pussy you have ever had is
not gone once you have enjoyed it.
Advantage: Beer.

Bad beer: Schlitz, PBR, Old Swill.
Bad pussy: Roseanne, Janet Reno, Madeline Albright.
Advantage: Tie

Good beer: Samuel Adams, Moosehead,
Pete's Wicked Winter Brew.
Good pussy: Almost all but the above.
Advantage Pussy.

The government taxes beer.
Advantage: Pussy.

pretty fuckin funny!

Hilarious!!

thats awesome

Quote:

Originally posted by Mr_Big_

Buy too much beer and you will get fat.
Buy too much pussy and you will get poor.
Advantage: Tie

fuck man, thats brilliant!

Quote:

Originally posted by Mr_Big_

Wearing a condom does not make a beer
any less enjoyable.
Advantage: beer.

well thought out.

I need to get a beer!

That has been kicking around teh intarweb for ages. Usually at the end they tally up the points and say that beer is the winner.

http://www.whatboyswant.com/forum_read/2204658/1/

Don't know if it's the same, but the idea is.

Google Beer vs. Pussy, you'll find a million of them. I'll just cut and paste this one in for kicks.

beer vs. pussy - the playoff

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

1. Beer is always wet. Pussy needs a little work. - One point to BEER



2. Warm beer tastes awful. - One point to Pussy



3. A really cold beer is satisfying. - One point to BEER



4. If after taking a swig of your favorite beer you find a hair
between your teeth, you may vomit. - One point to Pussy



5. Ten beers in one night and you can't drive home. Ten Pussies in
one night and you don't want to drive anywhere. - One point to Pussy



6. If you have a lot of beer in a public place, your reputation
may suffer. If you eat any Pussy in public, you become a legend. - One
point to Pussy



7. If a cop stops you and you smell of beer you may get arrested.
If you smell of Pussy he may buy you a beer. - One point to Pussy



8. You normally don't find old beer. - One point to BEER



9. Too much beer and you'll think you see flying saucers. Too much
Pussy and you'll think you've seen God. - One point to PUSSY



10. In most countries there's a tax on beer. - One point to PUSSY



11. If you have another beer the first one never gets pissed off -
One point to BEER



12. You can always be sure if you're the first one to open a
bottle or can. - One point to BEER



13. If you shake beer it'll get all agitated but it eventually it
settles down. - One point to BEER



14. You always know how much beer is going to cost - One point to BEER



15. Beer doesn't have a mother - One point to BEER



16. Beer never expects to be hugged for half an hour after you've
drank it - One point to BEER




FINAL SCORE: BEER 9
????????????????????????? PUSSY 7

That's it! The matter is settled, the clear winner is: BEER

PS: If you are a woman and at this point feel angry, degraded or
discriminated, just remember that Beer would experience none of those
feelings, let alone express them. -An extra point for BEER!

nice job Mr Big

Damn that is some funny shit! Brilliant, simply brilliant!! Two thumbs WAY UP!!!!