Anybody have some funny pick-up lines in inexplicably don't work? Share them...
A few to start with:
- If you and I were squirrels, could I bust a nut in your hole?
- I'd like to wrap your legs around my head and wear you like a feed bag.
- If it's true that we are what we eat, I could be you by morning!
- How do you like your eggs: poached, scrambled, or fertilized?
- I was about to go masturbate and I needed a name to go with your face.
- My love for you is liek diarrhea, I just can't hold it in.
- Roses are red. Violets are blue. I like spaghetti. Let's go fuck.
- Is that a keg in your pants? Cause I would love to tap that ass.
- If your right leg was Thanksgiving, and your left leg was Christmas, could I meet you between the holidays?
- You remind me of a championship bass, I don't know whether to mount your or eat you.
- Your parents must be retarded, because you are special.
- Could I touch your belly button... from the inside?
- I'm not too good at algebra, but doesn't U + I = 69?
Didn't anyone tell you that you wanted to sleep with me?!?! I thought you knew...
Do you know the difference between my penis and a chicken leg? No??? Well, let's go on a picnic and find out!
Excuse me, but would you like an orally stimulated orgasm?
Excuse me, have I fucked you yet?
Excuse me. Do you want to fuck or should I apologize?
Fancy a fuck?
Hi, wanna fuck? (No!) Mind lying down while I do?
I am a magical being, take off your bra.
I love you. I want to marry you. Now fuck my brains out.
I miss my teddy bear. Would you sleep with me?
I must expel some seminal fluid. May I use your body?
I think we have to make love on the front lawn like crazed weasels NOW!
I wanna put my thingy into your thingy.
I want to thank you for [insert any event here], grab your ankles bitch!
I'd like to tie you to a rafter and fuck you up and down.
I'd love to swap bodily fluids with you.
I'm gonna have sex with you tonight so, you might as well be there.
If it's true that we are what we eat, then I could be you by morning.
Let's bypass all the bullshit and just get naked.
Let's go to my place and do the things I'll tell everyone we did anyway.
My name's [your name], but you can call me "lover."
My name's [your name]That's so you know what to scream.
Nice shoes, wanna fuck?
Nice socks. Can I try them on after we have sex?
Nice tits. Mind if I feel them?
NOW, BITCH!
Oh, you're a bird watcher....(Whip out your unit and ask) Well, would you take this for a swallow?
Sex is a killer...want to die happy?
Since we shouldn't waste this day and age what you say we use these condoms in my pocket before they expire.
Take an ice cube to the bar, smash it, and say, "Now that I've broken the ice, will you sleep with me?"
Take off that dress and fuck my brains out, you cave newt.
The only reason I would kick you out of bed would be to fuck you on the floor.
The word of the day is "legs." Let's go back to my place and spread the word.
Wanna fuck like bunnies?
We're going to dance to one song, then go back to my apartment and fuck.
What can I do to make you sleep with me?
What do you say we go back to my room and do some math: Add a bed, subtract our clothes, divide your legs, and multiply.
Your face or MINE!?
Your place or mine?
thats hilarious...I want to see a girls reaction to these
That's a nice shirt. Can I talk you out of it?
There are 265 bones in the human body. How would you like one more?
There must be something wrong with my eyes, I can't take them off you.
Those are nice jeans, do you think I could get in them?
Wanna play carnival? You sit on my face and I guess how much you weigh.
You're good at math right? Is 69 a perfect square
Do you have a mirror in your pocket? (Why?) 'Cause I could see myself in your pants.
Do you know the difference between a hamburger and a blow job? No! D'ya wanna do lunch?
Do you know the essential difference between sex and conversation? (No.) Do you wanna go uDamn, if being sexy was a crime, you'd be guilty as charged!
Do you want to see something swell?
Do you work for UPS / ParcelForce? I could have sworn I saw you checking out my package.
Have I seen you before? Oh, yeah, I remember - it was in the dictionary under the word FANBLEEDINGTASTIC!
Hey I'm looking for treasure, Can I look around your chest?
Hi, will you help me find my lost puppy? I think he went into this cheap hotel room across the street.
Hi. I'm an astronaut, and my next mission is to explore Uranus.
I have 4 words for you "Hol I Day Inn".
pstairs and talk.
The word of the day is legs...lets go back to my place and spread the word
If I flip a coin, what do you reckon my chances are of getting head?
If you think Chewbacca is hairy, wait till you see my Wookie.
Is your name Summer? 'Cause you are as hot as hell.
Screw me if I'm wrong, but I could swear you were Julia Roberts.
You've been a bad, bad girl (boy). Now go to my room!
Your Daddy must play the trumpet, cos he sure made me horny!
do you have a wrench in your pocket? because you sure made my nuts tight
This one only works on a woman holding a baby: "So, I see you like to fuck."
"I may not have gotten your virginity, but can I at least have the box it came in?"
You are the most interesting piece of ass i've talked to all evening."
A women asks, "Excuse me, do you have the time?"
Answer, "If you have the energy"
Forget that! Playing doctor is for kids! Let's play gynecologist.
I'd look good on you.
I'm Greek. Do you have any Greek in you? Would you like some?
That dress looks great on you, they would look even better in the corner of my bedroom
girl, everytime i see you it makes me have to crap my pants
boy - "hi"
girl - "what!"
boy - "say if i were to hypotheticaly ask you out what would your reaction be?"
girl - "this" and she kicks him square in the ballz ouch!
this happened at a school dance once to a boy in the year below who bought one of those pocket books "101 amazing chat up lines" well he didnt get the sarcasim of it lol.
post 200 WooHoo!!! i know the above wasnt as funny as some posted previous, but it still makes me and my mates laugh when we think of it. Realy though it was sooo obvious to everyone it was a bad line but he still went on to use it lol.
girl your legs are like peanut butter, smoothe, creamy, and e-z to spread
SO I hear you wanna be a boxer? WHy dont u get on your knees and give me 50 blows to the head
"Fuck me if I'm wrong, but is your name Helga?"
Lick your finger, wipe it on her shirt and say..."Let's get you out of those wet clothes."
"Wanna play army? I can lie down and you can blow the hell outta me."
"That dress looks very becoming on you. Of course if I was on you, I'd be cumming too."
"You must've been born a maggot 'cuz you're fly as hell."
"My name is Charlie. You must be my angel."
