Blond jokes

Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito?
A: When you slap a mosquito, it stops sucking!

Two blondes in a movie theater:
-Hey, the guy on my right is jerking off!
-Just ignore him.
-I can't, he's using my hand!

Q: Why blondes don't wash their teeth?
A: They don't like the taste of soap!

A blonde is frantically searching, knelt down under a street light.
A cop comes by and asks her: "Did you lose something, Miss?"
"Yes, my diamond ring."
"Did it fall around here someplace?"
"No, it fell on those steps, but it's way too dark to look for it there."

moha....

I have some
Q:What did the blonde girl say when she woke up under a cow?
A:Take it easy guys, one at the time.

Q:What did the blonde girl do when she got twins?
Ahe went out looking for the other daddy

Q:Why did the blonde hooker get mad?
Ahe found out that the other hookers got paid

Q:How come there is no ICE cubes in a blondes kitchen?
A:Couse the blonde don't know the recipe

glad my girl is a brunette lol

Why does a blonde wash her hair in the kitchen sink?
Thats the right place to wash a vegatable

Q: What do you get when you stand a blonde on her head?

A: A Brunette with bad breath!

My wife is a (natural) blonde so I've heard just about all of them but just last week I heard one that I never had before:

What's the difference between a blonde and a refrigerator?
The refrigerator doesn't fart when you pull your meat out

another favorite:
What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells?
Pregnant

Alright.... This may be considered sick, but.....

Q: Whats the diffrence about a pile of dead babys and a BMW.
A: I dont have a BMW in my garage.....
Ive got more of the dead babys if you want...

What do you call two dykes in a canoe?

Fur Traders


A guy is walkin up to a doctors office when a nun comes running out, screaming, "AAAHH!!"
the guy says, "Doc, what's with the nun" the doctor replies, "I just told her she's pregnant." The guy says, "The nun's pregnant??" Doc says, "No, but it sure cured her hiccups"

Doc to blond: Your knee is damaged miss, is it a job-related injury?
Blond: No doc, it´s because I always have sex doggystyle!
Doc: Well, try something new then?
Blond: My dog doesn´t know any other positions!

A blonde goes into a store and says to the salesman, "I wanna buy that T.V." Salesman says, "Sorry lady, we don't sell to blondes." She frowns and goes home puts on a brunette wig, changes her make-up and puts on a different dress. She walks back into the store and says, "I wanna buy that T.V." "Sorry lady, we don't sell to blondes." The salesman replies. "How can you tell I'm a blonde?" She asks. "Because it's a fuckin' microwave," He replies.

Damn good one DrummerWes.

Did you hear about the new paint colour that's coming out? It's called 'Blonde': It's not very bright but it spreads easily.

Q:how could you give a blond a broken nose?
A:put your dick under a glass plate table

this is a blond and canadian joke

So there are four people sitting on a train, an american, a canadian, a fat woman, and a hot blond. The train goes under a tunnel, and its pitch black. suddenly a loud smack is heard. when the train comes out from the tunnel, the american is holding his jaw. The blonde thinks "that filthy american tried to grab me, but he got a hold of the fat lady, and she hit him." the fat lady thinks "that damn american tried to cop a feel on the blonde, and she swatted him, good for her." the american thinks, "that god damned canuck, he grabbed that hot blond over there, but she thought it was me and slapped me." the canadian thinks, "i can't wait until we go under another tunnel so i can punch that stupid american again."

The_Iceman: That's one of my favorite jokes of all time.

Just the word BLONDE is a joke..

i love blonde jokes

Or just blondes ?

or both? can i phone a friend....