Who would you do? - The Lindsay, Paris and Britney - OH MY! - Edition

Your choices are: Britney Spears, Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan.

The question is: Using their present day looks and persona, which one would you do first?

I’ll present the evidence for and against each, and you can take it from there.

Paris:

Pros – She’s probably the richest of the three. Her body isn’t currently sloppy, as is Britney’s, although she does kind of look like a praying mantis. We’ve seen her completely naked, because of her sex tape.

Cons – We’ve seen her sex tape, and, quite frankly, she sucks, and not in a good way. She also has the herp – not rumored like everyone else in hollyweird, but you know, confirmed (see photos below). I’m also pretty sure she’s the dumbest broad on this list, which is quite an achievement.



Recent pics:



Britney:

Pros – Well, you know she likes to sex. You can tell from her two kids. Also, her first husband, that Jason Alexander dude (this one, not this one) spilled the beans about how Britney let her freak flag fly during their Vegas vacation. She doesn’t like bras. Or panties. She’s got the biggest terts of the three, I think. Maybe. She’ll buy you all kinds of crazy shit – I think at some point K-fed had a Ferrari. Which is nice.

Cons – She is batshit insane. She’s liable to shave her head and stab you with an umbrella. She’s so insane, in fact, that her dad has to watch over her 24/7. She also has two Federkids, which means that if you’re fucking her, Tater Tot or Small Fry might come toddling into the room, and that’s just awkward.

Recent pics:


Lindsay:

Pros – Lindsay, like Britney, is, by all accounts, a sex fiend. Additionally, they’re both into the female-on-female action, of which Lindros approves. Further, she’s shown her terts in a couple photoshoots, and they’re not too shabby. She’s also shown her clam-a-lam-a-ding-dong a few times with mixed results. Once it looked kinda decent (when she was getting off the boat) and another time it looked like ABC bubble-gum, which is not so nice. She also has daddy issues, and while some of you might consider this a negative, you’re wrong, because chicks who are weird in the head because of daddy issues are fucktons of fun in the bed. Sure, they’re crazy, but I didn’t ask which one of these chicks you’d want taking your SATs for you.

Cons – She seems a little bit, um, unstable. She’s a drug-addicted broad, sometimes looks anorexic, and, currently doesn’t seem to be sexing men. Although that’s not gonna last. Trust me on this one. She has a penis need; you can see it in her eyes. She has seemingly run through all her money - so don't count on any Britney-style Ferraris. Also, she has lots of freckles. Too many, I say. Finally, you might have to deal with her trollop of a mother, since she seems to live her life vicariously through her train-wreck daughter, and that might be a deal breaker for me.

Recent pics:


So, the choice is yours. Choose wisely.

As I said earlier, I chose Lindsay, and it's not even close.

Then Britney.

Then Chop off my Chonson.

Then Paris.

Paris.

Lots of people have herpies and they're easy to manage if handled responsibly. I've dated a girl that had them. It seriously was not a big deal.

I also think she's a fuck-ton smarter than she portrays and society would care to give her credit for.

Lindsay just because I think she's hot!

ya... lindsay. plus i cant chose the "chop off" option ^.^

Britney Fucking Spears.

Lindsay is a fucking mess, and if you're like "Oh hey, I fucked Lindsay Lohan" most people would be like "ewww, really?"...or "yeah, me too." depending on if they're female or male.

Paris is just disgusting, you can tell shes a bitch, and an airhead and considering my extreme fear of STDs..it wasn't even close, yeah, she's rich, which is cool...but Britney isn't poor, plus, if I knock her up I can live off her for the rest of my life, score.

Britney seems like that girl that was always moderately good, like, even when she was doing something she considered to be badass or naughty, it was still pretty clean for the most part. I mean, I think that's why she fell apart so completely with the Federline situation, because she had never faced anything like that before. Plus, she's had sex, but I wouldn't say with any more than an average girl amount of men, Paris and Lindsay would fuck a cactus if they were drunk enough, and that shit doesn't fly with me.

I put way to much thought into this.

Lindsay for sure! Once she get's over her " woman fetish" she is going to make some guy a very happy mate.

id do britney cause she's sexy even when she's a nutter

Lindsey gets me hot. Brittney a close second.

Quote:

Originally posted by EricLindros

As I said earlier, I chose Lindsay, and it's not even close.

Then Britney.

Then Chop off my Chonson.

Then Paris.

I second this!

Quote:

Originally posted by jenngurl23

ya... lindsay. plus i cant chose the "chop off" option ^.^

You can always pierce your butterfly shut!

Lindsay this time!

Lindsay

Lindsay all sobered up, drug-free & wacky relationship-free.
Paris just cuz she is the smartest & rich.
Brit new in a million years.

I gotta Paris still just gotta try to avoid gettin the herpes.

I have to argue Paris being the dumbest on the list too. I think Paris is a genius by comparison to the other two. Anyone who can use their appearance and "heiress" status to become one of the most recognizable celebrities on the planet isn't that stupid. She has no talent, no profession, no anything yet there's no one who doesn't know who she is. That doesn't happen on accident. I think she plays dumb because it fits with the image she wants to sell but I think behind it all there's a calculating mind planning every single move with a lot of success. There's billions of rich hot women out there who no one knows. Britney on the other hand has had psychotic episodes, shaved her head, MARRIED K-FED (by the far the dumbest move of the 3) and just generally proven to be a complete moron. Lindsay and Britney both had their careers managed for them and handed to them through no thought process of their own and they both BLEW IT majorly as soon as they were able to take control of it themselves. On the other hand Paris has only become more successful and more rich, she's a master of what she does (whatever that is).

This thing is rigged anyway. The pics you posted of Paris (her valtrex, her scratching and so on) and Britney aren't very flattering but you've got some slightly nicer ones of Lindsay where she's been primped by professionals. Also you wrote a lot more about her and your "pros" section sounds like a sales pitch where as your "Pros" about Paris sound very negative.

How about doing Britney and Lindsay at the same time since they are both in to chicks!

Since I'd be using condoms on all, I'd still do Paris just on principal, but she'd be last. I'd make her watch while I did Lindsay. Britney would probably just want to join in. Paris would likely be pissed she wasn't the center of attention and try real hard to gain my attention...

Of course i chose Britney but i do think Lindsay would be the better One Night Stand Tho!!!!

I'd pick Britney. She looks a lot better now than she did a year ago (which isn't much, but she's still pretty hot). I don't think Lindsay's attractive at all any more... and I just hate Paris Hilton too much.

Fuuny stuff, thanks!
Lindsay cause she must be really good and dirty in bed...plus Britney's tits are already falling and Paris' doesn't finish the job, blowjob I mean!